I attended a leadership conference two years ago, one that my business coach recommended. The event was for entrepreneurs and business owners who want to grow and scale their business to seven-figures and beyond.

 

One of the sessions involved a “board breaking” exercise. You know, the one you’d commonly see in martial arts demonstrations. Where someone holds a piece of wooden board while you attempt to break it.

 

The board breaking exercise is more than a simple display of strength. . . beyond the ability to split a piece of wood in half. At least, that’s how I saw it as a kid who watched a ton of martial arts movies. It symbolizes overcoming obstacles that hold you back. The act of breaking through them both physically and mentally.

 

While the speaker was explaining the significance of the exercise, I thought, “With my military and martial arts training, how hard can this be?“

 

I guess my thoughts raced faster than I could hear the speaker’s words. Because I missed crucial instructions before we were to do the exercise.

 

“On one side of the board, write down all the limiting beliefs that are holding you back. And be completely honest. You’re the only one who will read that.“

 

Yikes. I guess I spoke too soon. About this exercise being too easy.

 

Because I have way too many limiting beliefs that are holding me back.

 

“…I have to work harder than everybody else because I’m not good enough.”

“…I don’t have what it takes to succeed. I’ve been doing this much longer than everyone else. Yet they’re already way ahead of me.”

“…I don’t deserve to receive great things unless I work hard for them.”

“…I don’t belong in this crowd. They’re already successful and I’m not.”

“…I suck at being an entrepreneur.”

 

I wrote more than what’s on this list. More than I could fit on that small piece of wood.

 

The speaker continued, “On the other side of the board, write down what’s possible when you let go of these limiting beliefs.“

 

What’s even more challenging than writing my own limiting beliefs? Writing about what’s possible.

 

When you’ve experienced a ton of hardships, you can’t even imagine the possibility of living an amazing life.

 

When you’ve worked hard for everything you have in your life, it’s hard to imagine receiving something for free – as a gift.

 

When you keep failing in business, it’s hard to imagine how you can help other business owners succeed.

 

It’s no surprise it took me longer to write on this side of the board.

 

And I didn’t realize I was writing down “impossible goals“. That’s the photo below. I mean, the other half of the broken board.

 

 

Then came the time to break the board. They grouped the attendees in three lines as we waited for our turn.

 

I watched people older than me break their boards with ease. Some did it in one go. Others took a few tries before finally doing it.

 

That gave me a bit of confidence.

 

But then came what I call the “Sink Time“.

 

This is the waiting time until it’s my turn to go. From the time I got in line to the time it’s my turn to break my board.

 

That could’ve been a few minutes. But it felt like hours.

 

Because while I was in Sink Time, a flood of negative thoughts and emotions started flowing…all my failures … all my mistakes … all my insecurities…

 

Maybe writing down my limiting beliefs on the board triggered it. I have no idea.

 

But in that short amount of time, I felt like I couldn’t move.

 

I felt ashamed, telling myself, “What would everyone think of me if I’m not able to do it?“

 

The humiliation was mind-numbing.

 

Until I felt a tap on my arm signaling my turn to go. It was the speaker.

 

I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and yelled “Hi-yaa!!!” before hitting the board.

 

OK, I was exaggerating. There was no yelling involved. Only breaking of the board in one smooth move. I guess I’ve made my aikido sensei proud one more time.

 

As I went back to my seat, I started reflecting on the lessons I learned in that moment.

 

1. Limiting beliefs hold us back more than anything or anyone. Enough said.
2. Possible goals prevent us from achieving beyond what we believe we’re capable of. I’ve already achieved 4 out of the 5 “impossible goals” I wrote on that piece of board. I guess it was “impossible” back then because I never saw myself achieving any of them. Breaking the board opened my consciousness to what’s possible.
3. Sink Times will always be there. Whether it’s a split-second, a few minutes, or even months if we don’t deal with it. Have the skills and tools to overcome Sink Time before it defeats you.
4. Don’t get fixated on the HOW. Focus on the goal and get resourceful. There were those who could not break the board with their hands no matter how much they tried. One 70+ year-old lady took her board, put it between two chairs, and used her foot to break it. The entire room cheered. Nobody ever said you can only use your hands to break the board. The goal was to break the board. After she did, those who couldn’t break their boards before ended up following her lead. Talk about a “Roger Bannister moment”.
5. To keep improving, hire a coach. This was one of the best investments I’ve ever made in my life. That tap on my arm when I was on Sink Time? That’s a coach. You need someone who has already achieved what you want to accomplish. Someone who can see through your negative beliefs and speak life into you. Someone who can recognize and believe in what you’re capable of even before you see it yourself. Someone who can, figurative or literally, smack you in the head or kick you in the butt (with grace) when you need it. I’ve grown exponentially in the last 3 years with a coach than in the previous decade without one.

 

That board breaking experience stuck with me.

 

Today, I do my own version whenever I feel like I’m stuck with either limiting beliefs or thoughts.

 

I would write them down on a piece of paper. Then, I would either shred it or light it up on fire. Kinda like a simple ritual.

 

Nothing changes after the fact. But that small act triggers something within me, one that signals, “LET’S GO!“

 

I guess it’s time to write another set of “impossible goals”.