Mile Marker 181 on the Pacific Coast Scenic Byway. Near Florence, OR. by Terry MacVey

This blog post  was inspired by a conversation I had with a high school friend. Imagine planning a trip to your vacation getaway. You know that you will need to do the following to get to your destination

1. Drive about 5 hours
2. Get your gas tank full and may potentially refill along the way
3. Check to make sure your coolant tank is full
4. Pack your stuff in preparation for the long drive

While driving, you definitely need to do the following

1. Check your speedometer to make sure that you’re not driving too fast not too slow. Driving too fast will get you a ticket. Driving too slow will take you longer to reach your destination
2. Check your temperature. You want to make sure that your engine does not overheat while you drive
3. Check your fuel meter. You want to know when it’s time to gas up

It’s amazing how many people put a lot of effort in planning for a trip and have very detailed information. Unfortunately, we don’t do the same thing for our goals. The first month of 2013 has just gone past us and items in our New Year’s resolutions have either been ticked off a checklist or totally forgotten.  If we put more effort into planning, tracking and specifying more details into our goals, I believe that we will be able to achieve more of them. We’ve got the entire year to work on our goals and New Year’s resolutions.  It’s not too late to start.

Connected by Conversation by mikecogh

With all the travel that I’ve done for the past few years, I’ve learned how to pay attention to the people around me – how they talk,  act and even how they carry themselves. I’ve watched people talk to their kids, negotiate a seat on a plane, ask for favors, etc. I’ve learned a lot about people just by observing and watching them go about their life. One thing that caught my attention during my recent trip was how people like to engage in a conversation. I was on a flight from Charlotte to New York City getting ready to tighten my seat belt as I heard the flight attendant talk to one of the passengers aboard the plane (I was just a few feet away to hear their conversation.) The passenger happens to be another flight attendant who is on his way to Europe for a vacation. What’s very interesting is that their conversation evolved from the trip itinerary to the strategic approach that the airline can undertake to improve customer service and satisfaction. In a previous blog post, I’ve highlighted how merchandise staff who didn’t even go to college talked about strategic positioning of products for increased sales. This is the kind of information that leaders value. But why isn’t this kind of information making it’s way into the boardrooms? Let me tell you why. It’s because upper management have not taken that extra step of engaging their staff in conversations. Do you remember one of those conversations you’ve had with your close friends where you kept talking yet they weren’t paying any attention? I bet you stopped talking when you noticed (or maybe tried to do something to get their attention back.)

Leadership expert Dr.  John Maxwell said this in his book The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership: “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” Engaging people in conversations means more than just extracting information from individuals. It means paying attention to what matters to them. Even the small details matter. Sometimes, even as simple as listening could mean a lot. When we know that what we say matter to the listener, we’re more inclined to be open and speak more.

Leaders and managers have resorted to memos and emails to communicate their message to the organization. Unfortunately, this approach has created barriers in communication. As leaders, it is our responsibility to take that first step. Get out of your office, walk among the crowd and engage your staff in a conversation. Who knows, your next big product or service idea might come from the janitor.

I’ve skipped a couple of weeks of blog posts in preparation for my presentations at SQL Server Live last week in Orlando. Hopefully, I’ll be able to make up for the lost time.

I don’t want to claim that I have an OCD but most people think I do. Let me explain. I was raised knowing how to keep things in tip-top shape. I keep my personal stuff clean and orderly. I remember the time when my step-sister paid me a visit before I was about to go to college. She looked at my closet and was shocked to see that it was way, way better than hers. I think my army reserve training made it worse that I ended up folding my shirts with the aid of cardboards and lining up my shoes according to color and usage. I brought that with me today as I travel. I’ve always tried to fix my bed before I leave my hotel room. Aside from my OCD behavior, it’s my way of helping the housekeeping crew make their jobs a lot easier. With my hotel room well maintained, it’s one less room that they need to worry about. I’ve always done that whether it’s a motel room or a hotel suite.

Until this past week. I stayed at the wonderful Loews Royal Pacific Resort in Orlando, FL as part of the reservations for the SQL Server Live conference – nice rooms, great ambience, wonderful staff. I had a whole day workshop on Day 1 and I wanted to make sure that I had a good night’s sleep, a nice meal and a prepared mind. I woke up at 5AM which was unusual for a night owl like me. Since I can no longer get back to sleep, I started preparing for my whole day workshop. While getting ready to take a shower, I started all of my virtual machines to see if they are in a state where I wanted them. I was surprised to find out after getting dressed that my iSCSI storage allocations were all corrupted. My instincts tell me to start fixing them before my workshop starts  but my eyes started to glance at the bed and the sheets, waiting to get done. I know I won’t be able to fix them all in time but at least I can get started and fix everything that I need for the morning session.

A story was told about the great violinist Jascha Heifetz who skipped doing his bed every morning to start playing the violin. At a very young age, he understood the leadership law that Dr. John Maxwell taught on his best selling book The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership. Having done so has led him to become one of the most important and influential violinists of the twentieth century. He knew how to say no to the urgent to say YES to the important. Dr. Maxwell taught on the concept of the Pareto Principle that states that 80% of the effects come from 20% of the causes. This principle has been applied in business and time management throughout the years and has helped me as lot in my personal as well as professional life.

We are all prone to responding to the urgent things in our lives. I, for one, would have ended up fixing my hotel room and leaving it the way I wanted to at that time. It would have been easier for me because I’m already used to it. But understanding that my priorities need to define the difference between what is important to me versus what is urgent helped me decide. It was a no brainer. I started working on my virtual machines knowing that my bed was left undone and my suitcase all messed up. When I left the room, I knew I was ready to deliver my workshop with confidence and expecting a great reward. Dr. Maxwell outlines three key questions that we need to answer to evaluate our priorities.

1. What is REQUIRED of me? I was in Orlando for a reason and that is to deliver a presentation. I’m not there to clean my hotel room nor to keep the housekeeping crew happy (although those were reasons I try to keep whenever I travel.) Keeping myself focused on my primary reason helped me make those decisions.
2. What gives the greatest RETURN? I’m very good at keeping my stuff clean and organized. But doing that is simply for personal satisfaction. Delivering a great presentation in front of a large audience gives me a much greater return because I know that those who will attend my sessions will go back to their work with new ideas to implement. Empowering others gives me the greatest return.
3. What brings the greatest REWARD? Living out my personal mission statement gives me a high. Call it addiction but I feel the most satisfaction when I see someone grow and develop their full potential. While I know that keeping my hotel room well organized and clean also gives me some sort of personal satisfaction, it’s nothing compared to the feeling I get when I get to do what I am called to do.

As a leader, we need to get our priorities right because other people depend on us. Doing so will help us intentionally ignore the inessential.

Question: What things do you intentionally ignore to keep your important priorities? You can leave a comment below.

Several weeks after the project went live, I was having a conversation with the project manager about the way we manage our relationships and dialogues we have with the people that matter to us. She mentioned the fact that even after celebrating her birthday just a few days ago, most of the greetings that she received were all in digital format – text messages, emails, Facebook messages, etc. The conversation concluded with the fact that greeting cards have now joined the ranks of dinosaurs and the Dodo bird on being extinct. I have to admit that while I like sending hand-written notes and letters to people, I save the reader the agony of reading my hand writing. I still remember the gruelling writing exercises that I had to go thru in grade school just to improve my hand writing – write, scribble, erase, write, and so the cycle goes. And while most people say that practice makes perfect, I just couldn’t get my hand writing right. I can’t even read my own hand writing sometimes that I always resort to typing my notes after meetings so I could legibly read and recall the ideas I wrote.

A few weeks ago, I sent the project manager and one of the application testers books that I think would be valuable to them.  Dr. John Maxwell’s book  – Everyone Communicates Few Connect  – was the latest book that I have read from the author and decided to send a copy to the project manager. For the application tester,  sent a copy of the SharePoint 2010 branding book because I believe that the book would be very helpful in her day-to-day job. Included with the book was a hand-written note thanking them for their contribution to the success of the project and described how the book would help them improve their productivity at work. I think I’ve scribbled on a few sheets of paper before finally tucking one inside the envelope and headed over the post office. I was more concerned about the recipients having a hard time reading my handwriting than the impact that it would have in their lives.

In today’s digital age where social media has taken over our modes communication, it’s so easy to take for granted the value of  inter-personal relationship. It still amazes me how people in the workplace would send an email response to a colleague that’s a few cubicles away rather than take a few steps and have a face-to-face conversation. Oh, those lovely email threads spanning multiple responses when it could have been made even clear with a phone call. Social media and the digital age only thrives because they leverage on the most important ingredient in the marketplace : PEOPLE. We humans desire to feel special and important. We love receiving feedback for the work that we do and long to be connected with the people that matter to us. That’s why people flock to Facebook and Twitter. We want to join conversations, share our uniqueness and simply feel validated. And that’s why I feel that the pen-and-paper approach of connecting with people will never go out of style.

After coming back from the PASS Community Summit in Seattle, I received a hand-written card from the project manager thanking me for the wonderful gift. She was also a big fan of Dr. John Maxwell and his books. But what really struck me was how she related the story of the application tester who received the other book. The gift came at a time when she felt really discouraged and was starting to believe that her work in the company didn’t matter. The book and the hand-written note from me made an impact in her life: it validated her value. It didn’t just make her day, it literally ignited her to become excited again with the work that she does. Most importantly, I’ve gained another level of appreciation for the hand-written letters that I send out, knowing that they do have an impact on the lives of the recipients. I’ll still make sure that they’re legible before I send them out.

Question: Have you been encouraged recently by a hand-written note? When was the last time you sent out one? You can leave a comment below.

This is a response to Michael Hyatt’s (blog | Twitter) and John Maxwell’s (blog | Twitter) blog post on reaching our fullest potential.

In 2003, I have had the privilege of attending Dr. John C. Maxwell’s conference in Manila, Philippines because I was part of the event hosts’ production staff (being a volunteer sound engineer for an event has its benefits.) While listening to him teach, I realized that I have been practicing the lessons that he was teaching, albeit in an unstructured way. Since then, I’ve read his books, listened to his teachings on audio and continuously learned from him. And I’m a big fan of continuous professional and personal development.

Throughout the years I have developed a personal growth plan that focused more on the mental and spiritual aspects of life. Having been raised in a Christian family, the focus was more on developing and growing the spiritual aspect. And since I love reading books, the natural inclination for me was to grow the mental aspect as well. But in order to reach our full potential, it is important to have a well-rounded, balanced personal growth plan that addresses the four major aspects of life, something that I took from Dr. Stephen Covey’s book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People – physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. Throughout the years, my personal growth plan has evolved to cover all four:

1. Physical. I’m not a physically active person and am not into sports. When I was a kid, I suffered from a lung infection that prevented me from getting into sports. As I grew up, I became workaholic and very self-driven. This accounts for countless sleepless nights and skipping meals. This went on until I realized that the only one responsible for my physical well-being is myself. A few years ago, I started adding the physical aspect in my personal growth plan which included the following:
   • Exercise. I didn’t go into a gym and enrolled in a physical fitness program. Instead, I became intentional about what I do everyday. I took the public transport to and from work so that I get forced to walk several blocks away from our house to get to the bus stop. If the weather permits, I take bike rides and long walks while listening to audio books. I help my wife clean the house and do manual labor to get my body moving. And as somebody who works with computers everyday, I make it a point to avoid prolonged sitting.
   • Rest. Didn’t I say I’m a workaholic? What I did was to start implementing timeouts. I forced myself to quit working during  weekends and specific times of the day. I sleep an average of 7 hours a day and intentionally disconnecting on a regular basis – no phones, computers, tablets, Internet, and anything that has to do with my work. I practice the Sabbath by avoiding activities that are directly related to work.
   • Balanced meals. I stopped skipping meals and eating in front of the computer during lunch breaks. I’m blessed with a wonderful wife that’s awesome at cooking at baking and so I avoid fast food as much as I can. My special meal requests include vegetables and fruits that kids won’t even think of eating (bitter melon happens to be my favourite). Recently, I’ve reduced my consumption of white rice, something that I’ve struggled with throughout the years because it is what I’ve considered my staple food.

   Adding the physical aspect in my personal growth plan has helped me become more aware of my physical well-being. I constantly remind myself that the small investments that I make in myself is more than enough to avoid the medical bills in the future.

2. Social/Emotional. I’m an introvert and have struggled with interacting with people as I was growing up. I think that’s one of the main reasons that I love reading books and playing the piano – both activities don’t require human interaction. As I took stock of my gifts and talents and, realizing that I was a teacher, I made a conscious choice to develop the social aspect in my life. I also realized that my productivity and performance is directly affected by the health of my social and emotional life. Here are key areas that I work on to develop these areas.
   • Family and Friends. I make it a point to express myself to my family daily – affirming my love for my wife and kids, teaching and modelling valuable lessons, and enjoying quality time together. I reach out to old and current friends and acquaintances by sending personal emails and giving them a call. I even use social media to connect with family and friends and engage in meaningful dialogues.
   • Communication. I constantly try to improve my communication skills because I believe that part of leadership development is the ability to communicate effectively. Whether you’re sharing your ideas, leading a team or engaging a family member, effective communication is key to making an impact.
   • Community. My active involvement in the Microsoft technical communities has given me an opportunity to give. I try to find ways to help others in ways that I can – whether by teaching somebody how to learn a new skill or volunteering to clean up a new apartment where my friends would be moving in. We’re wired to be a part of a community so it makes sense for us to make it a better place.
3. Mental. As I said, this comes naturally for me. In fact, I would trade a new gadget with a book anytime. I remember saving my meal allowance in high school to buy my very first Chicken Soup for the Soul book. My office is filled with books that I read on a regular basis and use as a reference for my presentations. I’ve broken down the list of categories that I constantly read about in different formats – books, blog posts, articles, videos, Twitter and Facebook posts.
   • Spiritual. Bible, inspirational, self-help and personal development.
   • Leadership and business. Timeless principles and new trends that shape today’s leadership landscape (that’s why I’m a big fan of Michael Hyatt and John Maxwell.) These days, I’ve been reading a lot about marketing and how the Bible can be the greatest marketing handbook of all time.
   • Computers. It’s my bread-and-butter so I need to constantly keep up with the technologies and how to solve business challenges using technologies.
4. Spiritual. We are spiritual beings and we need to take care of our spiritual life the same way we take care of our bodies. I’ve seen great leaders whose achievements have been influenced by their spiritual beliefs. In fact, a Wall Street Journal article has been published about financial advisors talking to clients about their religious beliefs. Taking care of my spiritual life has been a priority for me, having been raised in a Christian family. Here are some of the things that I have in my personal growth plan.
   • Bible reading. The greatest book that was ever written and has a solution for every challenge that we face in life. It’s not just for hearing a great story about a child defeating a giant but also for creating a strategic marketing and sales plan for your organization. I have the YouVerse application on my iPad and iPhone and downloaded reading plans that I go thru every morning.
   • Prayer. It’s my way of being connected with God. Sometimes it’s formal, often times it isn’t. A quick way of saying thank you or asking for guidance throughout the day is my personal preference because it keeps me aware of the fact that He is always with me.

A personal growth plan has helped me get to where I am right now and has kept me on track when I felt like going astray. Mine has evolved thru the years as my values have been clearly defined.

How does your personal growth plan look like? I’d like to hear from you.

“There are two things people want more than sex and money — recognition and praise.” Mary Kay Ash